The Journey Into The Darkness

My mother experienced her first mental breakdown nine years ago. Before that, she was never treated for mental illness. Instead, she became an alcoholic. This led to a strained and distant relationship between her and I. Honoring my father’s dying request, I reluctantly became the sole caregiver to my mother, Julia. It took three years for her to reside in a nursing home. During this period, I decided to turn the camera to my mother. It became the barrier between her harsh words and my heart. The healing began. Also, I discovered her writings, fragments of her hopes and fears.

My name is Judi Bommarito. For the past three years I have been documenting my mother, Julia. She is one of the more than 2 million diagnosed Americans that suffer from schizophrenia. I would like to share this poignant documentation of our journey together in hope that it heightens the awareness of this misunderstood disease. I am currently immersed in a photographic series titled “The Journey Into The Darkness-My Mother’s Life With Schizophrenia.” Presently, this series consists of twenty-six images. I am strongly committed to gaining revenue so that I may exhibit this series to a wider audience. It is my hope that my mother’s words become a voice for the mentally ill. I struggle to give validity to my mother’s existence and to honor her beauty and brokenness. The driving force behind this series is multifaceted. It not only serves to show the dichotomy that is inherent to the mentally ill, but also as it evokes the universal struggles and conflicts we all share.
I am the humble recipient of her written words and believe these words hold great power. These glimpses into her soul have the potential to bring awareness to people from many perspectives. It is my hope to encourage a shift in our perception of mental illness. Her words are a candid and sensitive depiction into the mind of the mentally ill. The series also addresses the ways by which the healthy adult child of a mentally ill parent implement coping skills. Lastly, the role of the end of life caregiver. This series offers rare insight with which I feel compelled to share with the world.
As of recent, my mother no longer writes. Occasionally, she will have me write down her thoughts on paper. As she is shifting, so will my technique. I am preparing to shoot black and white film with my Hasselblad. In doing so, these formal black and white prints become a visual metaphor revealing her “journey into the darkness.”
In conclusion, it is my intent to challenge and confront this stigma and educate our society not only as is pertains to our perception of the mentally ill, but also the impact this disease has on the lives of the healthy family members. I am deeply committed to this project and I am hopeful to be the recipient of this award so that I may pursue this mission. Three images from this project have recently been recognized with grand prize and juror selection awards by juror, Mary Ellen Mark, in the PWP International Exhibition. I am deeply grateful for the affirmation Ms. Mark has given this project and continue to pursue the means in which to make this project a reality. Upon completion, this project is highly sustainable and I believe it will gain momentum each time it is recognized. Thank you for your consideration.