A lot of women after giving birth to a child face emotional problems. They influence the kid and marriage. I was not an exception.
Found myself pregnant I was really happy to realize that I was going to have a baby. But I was not ready to face things happened afterwards. It was a scaring permanent stress and embarrassment. I tried to find any help from someone, my thoughts were chaotic, I couldn't control my emotions. Health got worse and my actions were wrong. I tried to get out of that trap, spending more than 4 years for a psychologist. And it definitely helped a lot. I have returned my former shape and state of mind, but the time had gone. My daughter became very self-contained and avoidant, refusing any kind of a close contact with me and other people. So, I have found an experienced kid teacher, who helped me a lot. I learnt from her, but still couldn't find a way to recover our close emotional relations with daughter.
I didn’t know what to do, and just started doing what I knew the best. I began to take pictures of my child, trying to communicate with her by means of camera. I worked hard willing to know her better, to see her, find out what she liked, what she reacted for, finally to realize where I was wrong and where not, and how it could be changed. It took me more than half a year of everyday shooting. And it worked.
Here I represent shots from those first films – the very beginning. These are the pictures which made me confident that I had found the way to communicate her.