This is the story of how Africa saved my life after losing my husband. During my month in Africa I took 26,000 pictures and wrote a book. Africa, Table for One. The pain of being a table for one in a world of tables for two or more. But also a reminder that the world is inherently a wonderous place with gracious people. That I too am a good person. Because the animals came to me everywhere I went. Animals know our souls. And they reminded me that my soul still burns bright. I am not done yet. I have more to do with this life. Like finish this book!
March 12, 2021 at 12:48AM. The moment the intense burning flame that was my life went out. My husband of 20 years was gone. The other half of me. Extinguished.
We were the poster couple for what life can be. We did everything right. Worked hard and played hard. Athletes scouring the globe for new adventures. We rescued dogs. A LOT of dogs! Our home was the gathering place for everyone. A no judgement zone full of love, laughter and some crazy shit we can’t believe we survived.
Then he got a brain tumor. My firefighter husband who rescued others, was now in need of being rescued. We fought his brain cancer gallantly for nearly three years, keeping the ugly reality of the disease between only us. He wanted everyone to remember him as he lived. The strong silent protector.
After his death, I plunged into a pit of darkness. I was left for dead by too many family and friends to count. More proof I was nothing without him by my side. A handful stuck around to remind me that they needed me to stay. Most importantly, our children. They didn’t just lose a dad and a hero, they lost “us”. And they didn’t need to lose me too.
One morning I shot out of bed as if my loving husband had yanked me up by both arms and said, “Hunny bunny, go to Africa!” One of the few places we had not traveled together. I would talk of hugging lions… the sweet, sweet babies… and he would say, “you’re going to get eaten.” And then we would go dive with sharks instead.
So I went to Africa to heal. To find myself. To encounter kindness and compassion. I needed animals. I had never traveled alone for fun, and I was terrified. But I had nothing to lose and everything to gain.
As I stepped onto the tarmac in Kigali, I was overcome with emotion. I smiled for the first time since I could remember. The tears that streamed down my face not brewed in sadness, but wonder and excitement. I had finally made it to this magical place I had dreamed of since I was a child and it saved me.